arna monica

here we go again.

2010-11-06T17:49:00.001+08:00

this is it!

http://www. youaredearlyloved.tumblr.com

SO, BYE!

2010-11-06T15:26:00.000+08:00

you've proven it.

2010-11-06T15:19:00.002+08:00

I have this sudden decision that I'm moving to Tumblr. I think it's easier to blog there. And you could post music and stuff easier. Unlike here, it always lags. And templates are really complicated. But this site will just be here. Nothing will happen to it, I won't delete it or deactivate it. I don't want my memories to be gone. :)

So, if I make another Tumblr, I would have two. I won't delete my Tumblr now. No way. Too sayang. My Tumblr would still be the same: reblogging posts endlessly. And my new Tumblr will be just like my blog. Personal one. And I will only my favourite blogs.

Yeay!

you know i'll miss you right?

2010-11-04T20:58:00.001+08:00

Tired. Yes, I am tired. Physically.

I'm having lots of bumps on my face and it's irritating. Dad keeps saying my face is so ugly already and that I should sleep early.

I try to sleep early, okay? My body isn't co-operating with me.

I went to bed last night at half past ten. But, I really really couldn't sleep. So then, I turned on the lamp, pulled out my notebook and got my pen and started composing. I've written at least two pages (it was really good, haha!). Then, I felt hungry. So, I went to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator and took an apple and a Yakult! The time was 11.15pm already. While eating, I'm correcting my wrong grammars. I suddenly didn't want to write anymore, I thought it was too wordy. :P

So then, I just read Brisingr.

(And oh my gosh, I could never never finish that book. I only read a chapter and I'm not even half way the thick book. It has been ages! Forgive me.

But, I finished the first and second book and I really really like it! I don't understand why this third book doesn't interest me. It's my brother's obsession. And he just told me just now that I should bring it back home. But, I haven't even finished it. D:

Oh well. It's his. I told him to read 'The Host.' I bet he has finished it already.)

And then, I tried to sleep. But, I couldn't even sleep! So, I decided to play Snakes in my phone. The modern one. I've finished all the levels already. But when I was playing it last night, I couldn't even get past one level and kept dying.

Then I remembered I dreamt of snakes. Three snakes! Three snakes eating three people.

And the snakes were really long and yucky. Then, I thought it was ironic. Because dreaming of snakes are supposed to be scary but then I was playing it. When I was bored of dying, the time showed that it 11:59pm.

SO, after that I just stayed awake. My eyes were open in the dark until I could almost see everything in my room.

I checked my phone for the last time and the time was half past one and then, I don't know what happened. I think I fell asleep. :)

Then woke up at 12 noon.

Oh great, I just told you what I did last night and how I struggled to sleep. :P

Finally, the season 2 of Vampire Diaries is loading. But I just paused it, because mommy used the computer.

Mom: Pack your things.

Me: So early! It's just Thursday!

Seriously, our flight is on Saturday midnight. Not Thursday midnight. -.-' Mom was exaggerating again.

I bet she's so tired now. She cleaned the whole house today. I vacuumed. And Dad and Uncle went to Temburong. Then, when they got back, Dad's gout became bigger. LOL.

Oh my gosh, I'm going to miss everyone!

:'(

nothing gold can stay.

2010-10-29T23:42:00.007+08:00

What has happened?

School. Exams.

Yeah, it is finally over. I hate to say this but, this year, my educational life is such a big mess.

I have no idea how I got into this situation. I've been failing.. a lot. And of course, I try to not fail but you know, it's hard.

But, I'm so grateful because God is comforting me and He's always there for me.

He's never leave me. Not once. I know that everything will be okay in the end (not that's the reason why I've been flunking almost all of my subjects). It's hard to understand, I don't even understand myself.

My brother.. he got his results from last semester. He said in the email that's he's a University Scholar. A university scholar in a the University of the Philippines and he's taking law.

It's his last year of college and then he's gonna graduate and have a good job and then successful and happy. Why am I not surprised?

Why can't I be more like him? It's like, I'm the complete opposite of him.

Maybe I'm not meant for school. Maybe I'm not meant for those high rankings in school. Maybe school isn't just for me anymore. Maybe I'm for something else.

I always thought there are only two kinds of people in this world. The rich and poor.

If you have a big house, a car and maids in your house, you're considered rich. And if you don't, then you're poor.

But then, I always thought I'm in the middle you know. Funny, I think everyone thinks that.. at least that's what I know.

Anyway, the point here is. My brother would be the rich one and I'd be the poor one. (And, my second brother could be in the middle...)

But, I don't want to be poor. I want to be like my brother. Rich, smart and parents to be proud of.

When my dad saw the results in the computer screen, I could tell that he was really proud. He even called my uncle to show that his son is smart; getting an average of 1.38.

(I don't even know what that means)

I want my dad to tell his friends that he's proud of me. Just the mere of looking in his face that's he's proud of me.. that he's pleased, that I'm not a disappointment in front of him.

Because I know, deep down inside, I know that I am one. I'm a big disappointment to him. To my mom. To them.

And they are just too afraid to admit it to themselves.

At this time, I'm really confuse. I'm confuse about everything.

I'm confuse about my grades. I feel like I want to know them but at the same time, I don't want to. I don't want the same dull disappointment again.

I'm confuse about going back this 7th of November. I just think - wait, I KNOW - it's too early. Too early. And I'm afraid I'd miss out on a lot of things here. Especially church. Especially church.

Two months in Philippines. That's a first. Well, I don't really have a choice, do I?

Gosh, the inventor of Math is the most stupid person ever.

This makes sense right? :D

I asked why do we have to learn Math and all the torture and my cousin-in-girlfriend told me that: "So that our left brain will function. Basically, the left brain is full of analytical, explaining.. etc. And the right brain is the artistic side. Creativeness and stuff like that."

Oh. So then basically, my left brain doesn't work. It's all the right brain. Oh, I'm so artistic and creative.

(OR, my cousin-in-girlfriend just made that up)

My babes and I are going to have some fun tomorrow. And I painted my nails brown. Gosh, it was such a fail. This was what exactly happened.

I must achieve the ability to paint my nails using the left hand nicely. But yeah. Brown would go with the outfit tomorrow. It's not as if someone would really look at my nails... right?

I'm very thankful that exams are finally finished.

Things are becoming tougher and tougher each day but still, I hold on to the promises and know that,

there's so much love in you.

2010-10-21T18:21:00.001+08:00

i don't want to regret in the end.

2010-10-21T16:51:00.006+08:00

I'm still not so sure if I should revise today. Or later in the evening.

My sleeping mode was screwed up by Dad. I suddenly woke up, sweaty and pissed at my Dad. He turned on the light and started doing something with the printer. And then like, I waited for him to finish so that I could go back to sleep but then he was finished after an hour later.

Like, what the heck? Couldn't he see that his daughter was sleeping???

To make things worst, he started talking to my uncle VERY loud. And they have deep voices for whatever sake.

And I was like, 'asdaskfugfbvalskhfeuosgfkasbdvshdgfiagvfibsjgbsiurgtoabowertyuriolgkmnfbdv!'

and, 'FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--'

Anyway! We had Biology this morning. Thank God it's finished! The worry in me is starting to decrease. :) Paper 2 was easier from Paper 1.

There was at least four questions in Paper 2 where we didn't even study about. Like, wth?

Oh well. Hope I pass. :)

The teacher who was in our class was funny but strict too.

She was like, "This class has very extraordinary copiers." (something like that) "I'll be extraordinary too." "It's 25 years of experience."

HAHAHA! One thing I like about her is that she doesn't smell! Not at all! And I was so glad because every time she passed by, the only thing I could smell was her perfume which was nice.

Thank God!

Do you watch Glee? I love Glee. And I've watched all the episode in Season 1 and watched Season 2 until episode 4.

I'm always curious for the next episode.

But I notice that the show seems like it's always about sex and stuff like that. I mean, doesn't it need more love?

I'm not sure if these pictures are in the movie though but whatever...

And then I'm addicted about The Vampire Diaries too.

Is this even healthy? With exams and all?

I'll spam this blog with TVD.

There are a lot more but I think I'll stop. :P

[Dev, my classmate, is also addicted to his show. He's got a wallpaper of TVD in his phone]

Rock on!

you can take away the pain.

2010-10-19T14:38:00.003+08:00

Can I just say that I'm in love with Stefan? Ha, yes. I am.

Can I marry Paul Wesley? PLEASE?

Can I be Elena? Nina Dobrev?

I know I can't.

I can't tell you how much I want to marry Paul Wesley. :D

I'm crazy like that. ;)

We've had all the practical exams done. Chemistry was great! I got high enough. And Biology.. I just passed. 61.25% Yeay -.-' It was hard, okay? I mean, lots of my classmates failed and I'm thankful enough that I passed it.

Now, I'm scared for Physics. What if I got the measurements wrong? What if my calculator went all nuts and my calculations are messed up? No.. Please no. Doubts must be gone. Just gotta trust God.

Bahasa Melayu was epic fail. I mean this literally. Paper 1 was screwed up by one instruction. I mean, I could have aced it if it weren't for the change of instruction. Why couldn't teacher just give us the one we've done? And just now, I had to make another new story. I hope the words are correct and the grammars. I HOPE.

For paper 2, all I can is: Screw it!

It was hard. Very hard for the non-Malay people. And that's not fair because in class, we don't really use deep deep Malay words. Plus the problem of not being able to copy. (PSH. Don't deny that you copy too. Everyone does.) The teacher who was in charge was very strict. Talk about, 'GOOD LUCK' everywhere. I got very unlucky. The teacher could be someone who sleeps in class or play with his/her phone but no, the teacher was walking around the class like a spy.

This is embarrassing but I almost, almost, got caught of copying. But I really didn't copy. Because I couldn't read the small handwriting of my classmate beside me. I really should change seat. Someone who's smart and has big handwriting. (ALEENA!)

I found a picture of me and Jeunneze when we were little; I was primary 3 and she was primary 2. :) We weren't really friends then. I don't even remember why we took a picture together. But I do remember that she came close to me and then, click! We have a picture. Though my friend at the back, Nabilah, is a spoiler. Lol jk, she was my bestfriend back then.

I was very sad today in school. Hmm.. I should stop assuming of things that I'm not sure of.

It'll just hurt me and be sad and regret it.

But please remember that I was the one who stuck for you when she walked away from you. Just please remember that.

Don't just ditch us like that. We're your friends too and we have feelings too.

Still friends, right? :)

No matter what happens, I will always be here.

this is it.

2010-10-17T20:41:00.004+08:00

CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy. But when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet.
Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs especially Gemini’s in sports. Likes to cook but would rather go out to eat at good restaurants.
Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. [24 years of bad luck if you do not forward.]

Do you actually believe in horoscopes? It's not really true right? But sometimes, to be honest, most time, they're true. But wait, I'm not sassy, intelligent, sexy, irresistible.. I don't always get what I want. I'm not cool. And what? Loves to win against other signs especially Gemini's in sports? Huh? ...I'm not that fun and I'm not good at joking. I suck at it. I AM NOT SMART.

Ha. Guess it's not really accurate at all, yes?

The things I didn't mention are partly true about me. :) Okay, I'm boring you to death. I'm boring, I know.

Do you know the feeling when someone thinks you're lying and they don't believe you when you're really really telling the truth?

It's like a solid thing stuck on your mind wondering why that person doesn't believe you. The pain when you grit your jaw, the urge to just throw something - anything, just to take that thing off your mind. The feeling of complete confusion mentally inside your head and just want to scream on top of your lungs.

Not to mention the feeling of sadness. Because of just that one issue. It makes you go crazy like a maniac on loose. The tugging in the heart where you just really really really want that person to know that you're not lying.

You know that feeling?

Nobody's perfect and everybody knows that.

Isn't not about forcing? To be frank, I don't like to be forced. I mean, who does? I don't like to be told what I'm supposed to do when I know what I'm supposed to do. Because that's like telling me I'm dumb. I'm stupid. Or maybe that person really thinks I am. There's always a reason behind everything right? Okay, maybe I was wrong. It was a mistake. But it was like forcing me to do something I do not want to. Yeah, I admit. I didn't want to attend to that place.

Don't they tell that every time in that place? That it's not about forcing. I thought we had free will? Free will to do anything. Would you want to be forced? What if I force you to eat a poop or something? You don't want that, do you?

I thought being in that place is different.. That you can have fun.. And just hang around.

Or maybe I just don't want to accept that fact that my mistakes have been corrected because all along, I always thought I was right about everything.

BUT, it's time to change.

No more bitterness. No more hatred. No more bad-tempered head. No more swearing. No more judging. No more labelling. No more sexual desires. No more being bad. No more disobeying. No more evil things.

Just the number one priority. God.

It was then that I gave my life. It was then that I remembered the first love. The first true love that embraced me for who I am. It was then that nothing else mattered but God. It was then that I had the encounter. It was then that fire consumed me. It was then that I cried out for forgiveness and felt clean. It was then that He told me I was worth a million dollars to Him. It was then that He reminded me of how precious I am.

It was then, that after that, I have a relationship with God.

Did it ever cross your mind that one day I could be a leader? :)

I'll put that in a book shelf and keep it there and when the time comes, I'll take it out and use it if it's really what I'm called for.

I love you Lord, I worship You
Hope which was lost, now stands renewed
I give my life to honor this
The love of Christ, the Savior King

this is me, only God can change me.

2010-10-10T20:14:00.007+08:00

I remember my brother calls me 'ball nose' or 'ballnose'. Because I really do have a ball nose. :D And it's a fact. My nose is really small.

But nah... HAHAHA.

I really like today. I mean, aside from Jeunneze's birthday.. It's really fun and I had fun. (whuut?)

Today in church is really interesting. Just funny in the P&W in the morning.. really off-tempo of the clapping (some are clapping too fast) and everything was just like clashing into everything. But it was okay in the end, anyway. :P

Youth was totally a kick ass. Especially CG. I really found it veeery interesting. It's always nice to hear Jerold preach. Not that I'm saying that the other are not nice, but of course, everyone has a favourite too right? Even Jesus had/has. [right?] :D

One thing I always notice in youth service is that they always - the preachers, leaders - say, "People always say, 'Oh, I'm fine, I'm fine,' but deep inside you're dying and you just never deal with it."

I think that is really true. There are so many people who are like that and I'm just itching to share God with them. Because I know God will change them, refine them and fix the broken in them. And I'm still praying for that to happen and I'm rather excited.

The same God that saved me, is more capable than saving the people who are lost. :)

Sometimes, it is hard for me to obey God's simple instruction. Just the mere order of obeying and honouring my parents is already hard for me.

But Ephesians 6:1 says,

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother -which is the first commandment with a promise- that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

So I guess, I have to. I have to keep trying and ask God to help me in this situation because, really, I don't want to disobey God anymore.

'It's so hard to study.' or 'I don't feel like studying.' Trust me my friend, you're not alone.

I have no idea when I'm going to pick up my books from the shelf and actually start revising them. But I really have to study tomorrow.

Lab exams starts on Tuesday. And it's Chemistry. *Diiiiiieeeeeees*

This happens all the time in every test.

I can't wait to go to heaven. I'm pretty sure there's no Math there... right?

It's just going to be all about God. But who knows, maybe tomorrow or next week or next year, I'm in love with Math! And that would totally be awesome. I'd be like the most awesome Math-lover in school because I'd love Math that much.

And I'll find a way to use Algebra in everyday life. Because really, no one really uses Algebra in their everyday life, right? The only people who use them are Algebra teachers. :D

I just wanted to post this. It just really looks like it's really made with so much love.

One day, God is going to bless me with this one too. :D I've always have this admiration for pregnant women and it just brings me so much adoration for them.

just suddenly...

2010-10-09T13:42:00.003+08:00

One of the main reasons why I didn't want to have a chatbox in the first place is because something like what's happening now to my cbox is happening.

Is that a virus in blogger cbox or real people? Real people are really making an effort to go to people's blog and post weird stuff. Not to mention the funny names that's linked to different websites. Yeay. -.-

My friend actually said this: I want to change my subject next year. I'm not interested in Commerce anymore.

It got me thinking. So she's interested in subject? Must you be interested on the subjects you pick? Because as far as I'm concerned, I'm not in interested in any subjects I'm taking now. Make that Commerce or Accounts, nope, I am not interested. Not even a little bit. I'm just being forced to take subjects so I take them. Even English. That subject is cool, the easiest. But, come on, the teachers? They could make my eyes and ears bleed from the boredom.

Where did all the fun go?

That's Katrina right there.

She had her septum pierced. It's pretty sick but that's what she wants. Now, she has to wait for I don't know how many weeks to be able to show the piercing or else it'll heal and the hole will close.

I still love her.

Bad things are happening. And I'm scared. It's scary. It's scary to be happy. Because if I am, something awful will happen after that. Something awful. It happened. It happens. It always happens.

Exam is in about... three days. Exactly three days. First is Chemistry practicals. I don't want to mess this up again. I need to get high marks. I need to. Or else, I'll be damned by my own crazy stupid father.

Speaking of him, I feel like stabbing him with a huge knife every time I see him.

like the rising sun that shines.

2010-10-02T09:19:00.008+08:00

Yes, I look weird. This photo (only the one above, me and cousin) was last year, I think. Or was it on April?

But anyway, I have no idea what I'm going to do today. I didn't go to school because of transport problem. Maybe God is going to give us a new car! :D Yes to that.

Wanna see some photo roll? :P (What the heck is a photo rolls >:| Even I don't know)

hello, october.

2010-10-01T20:45:00.011+08:00

I wonder. Why do people actually say 'Hi' or 'Hello' and 'Bye' to months? Like that the title of this post. Some are even like: 'Dear October, please be nice to me. Don't be a bitch like September.'

What theeeee? I mean they don't exactly hear you right? They're months! And you can't tell them what to do because basically they are just names of the months. I do not get this. I do not.

Today is October 1, yes? (I'm used to saying October 1 instead of 1 October; that's how it goes in the Philippines) The end of September. Today was actually, depressing. Sad.

I felt so dizzy the whole afternoon. I was reading 'The Time Traveler's Wife' again. Maybe, I was about to time travel this afternoon just that, it never happens. :P Lol, jk. I don't believe in those.

Remembering the first time I read the first page of that book, I thought, 'Ugh, this looks confusing.' And yeah, it was confusing. At first. Really. "You never know what the book is about until you read until fifty or hundred pages." <-- sort of like that. I felt that way.

So yeah, not done reading it yet. I'm just somewhere in the 100 pages. It's a good book, I can say.

I did the laundry today and guess what. Mom still got angry at me. -.-' Weird...

Okay, I don't want to think about it. But overall, today was just.. plain boring.

I'm now going to invade your mind with my cousin and brother's pictures. [I took the pictures so I don't really have any pictures of myself so yeah.] *Invading your mind*

This is my second brother and baby ZJ. He is one year old. My brother's 16.

My cousin, Rose Ann and them.

He wanted to wear the glasses and my cousin wanted to try it out too and this was how it went.

My cousin then took it from him and my nephew-in-cousin wanted it back.

So, he put it back on.

Then, it looked like he just wanted to take a photo with it so he took it off and gave it to my cousin.

And, voilà! :D

I miss them already.

ainakoainakoainako.

2010-09-30T13:56:00.011+08:00

I'm giving up. :D

To that 30 days challenge thingy. It's actually a waste of time. HAHA.

Thought it'd be nice but.. yeah, it's not.

Do you like bruises? Because I do. I think it looks cool. ;)

Anyway... Look! I've wasted energy posting this stuff.

This is an oil painting.. got it from Tumblr.

Angelina Jolie. Looking like a goddess as always.

Leighton Meester. In this photo, I find her beautiful. Because to be honest, I don't find her beautiful in Gossip Girl. >:|

Okay, honestly, I have no idea who this girl is. O.O Who is she?

Hilary Duff. :)

They kind of look scary. I mean, the heavy make up on their faces make them look like pretty zombies. It kinda hurts my eyes looking at the girl on the left..

This is actually a first time I see a girl with a peace sign without her fingers looking retarded.

Gossip Girl.

Then Harry Potter.

Too bad, Harry looks ugly now.

"..Not for me..."

Then 'A Walk To Remember.' Lol. I asked Christina to watch this. I hope she already did. (oh and, false alarm, chris, jeun didn't cry..)

Yeah, Jeunneze watched it and she didn't cry.

Last night was funny. :P I mean, fun. :D

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

[I feel like changing the blog template.. Justsaying! :D]

naturally sweet; no sugar added.

2010-09-27T21:51:00.006+08:00

I saw you and you smiled at me. It was like I was already floating in the air, just because of that. Can't you see how big of an impact you have on me? But I'm not blaming you. You didn't tell me to love you or hate you. It was me. It was my heart. Do you know that this heart that beats inside me is ready to love you? Ready to be with you no matter what? I'm ready. And I'm just waiting for the day when we'll be together.

You may go to college and me... I don't know, I guess I'll go where the wind brings me.. But let me tell you, I'll be with you wherever you are. Just like John Smith and Pocahontas. :) Don't you just think that their love story is sophisticated yet full with love?

You know when I'll stop loving you?

I'll stop loving you when diamonds never sparkle and flowers cease to grow. When thunder doesnt echo and rivers do not flow. When heart no longer wonder and hands are never held. When smiles are only memories and hope is never felt. When trees no longer blossom and the stars refuse shine. When autumn has no falling leaves and winter no longer dies. When time has no more tomorrows and rainbows have no hue when God alone commands me..
Then I'll stop loving you.

But the truth is,

It doesn't make sense to let go of something you have wanted for so long, but it also doesn't make sense to hold on when there's nothing there.

we'll be forever young.

2010-09-27T21:04:00.004+08:00

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr name

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you've been to

Manila Zoo.

Sadly, I can't find any pictures. -.- I think the pictures are in the Philippines. So, I'll just get from Google. :)

The Manila Zoo. Okay, this picture is crap. It doesn't really say it's the Manila Zoo but whatever.

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Who are you?

Dearly loved.

2010-09-26T22:13:00.003+08:00

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr name

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

PROCRASTINATION.

I procrastinate a lot and it's so not good.

I need things to be done and actually have due dates, yet, I don't do them in time.

And the result is, I tend to have problems I shouldn't have if I do my work in time.

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Who are you?

i'm myself, me only. no one else.

2010-09-25T19:09:00.007+08:00

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr name

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

BOOBSS.

Plus this. Because Jeunneze isn't in there.

♥

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Who are you?

everything matters.

2010-09-24T21:07:00.004+08:00

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr name

[Obviously, I took this from Tumblr so I guess I'll just change that to 'Blogger' then. :D]

Day 02- The meaning behind your Blogger name

Dear life.

Personally, the purpose of this blog to me is a way to put things off my mind. The meaning of my blogger name is quite the opposite of the meaning. It's like I'm writing about my life but then I'm writing to my life; "Dear Life," It's kind of ironic in a way.

Sometimes, It's like telling your life to stop and cherish every moment or telling your life to skip this and that moment because it's a disaster but you can't because that is life. We all want to have time machine and go back to the happy moments or go back to undo the mistakes we did. But, let me tell you again, you can't because that's just life. Life is for us live.

So, expect the unexpected and love wholeheartedly.

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Who are you?

it begins and ends with you.

2010-09-23T12:48:00.000+08:00

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

1. I really like colorful pictures.

2. I'm in love with books. I think I can't live without them.

3. I'm actually writing a so called story.

4. I have a passion for photography, modelling, and of course for God.

5. I don't have confidence, which I must really work on. As they say, 'Confidence is the key.'

6. I've been liking the same person for almost four years now. (And I don't think he notices me...But will love him nevertheless)

7. I'm into fashion.

8. People have told me I'm an inspirer.

9. I swear.

10. I still have the small hatred for my father. And I want it to be gone.

11. I'm a very very emotional person.

12. I'm friendly. :D

13. I'm not smart; I've always been bad in school since I can remember.

14. I'm actually a good swimmer.

15. I love. First of all, I love God with all my heart. Then, I love my family. I love my friends very much. And last but not least, I love you.

Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr name

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Who are you?

it's happening all over again.

2010-09-22T13:57:00.003+08:00

I was fine already. I got along just fine. I had forgotten all about you. Your killer smile that melts me to the ground like how ice cream melts in the tongue.. Your beautiful eyes that I drown into whenever I look into them. I can't believe you had to bring back everything that was gone. I was going just fine without you. But you had to come along again and that one smile of yours was all it took to make me fall in love again.

I'm afraid.

I'm so afraid of not being with you.

I know why you like her. It's because she has beautiful skin, nice hair.. gorgeous face and everything that's an inch to perfection. She's richer than me. She has Ipad and I can't even afford such thing; I only have the simplest phone ever. She's smarter than me. Has more nice clothes than I. And everything that a guy could ask for.

I know why you like her.. because she's beautiful. Amazing, even.

But just so you know, I love you more than her. More than you can imagine.

And as much as I want to kill her, I wouldn't, even if it tears my heart apart and cry for a million years. Because if you really love her and you're happy, I'm happy.

And that's how much I really love you.

I know I'm not pretty nor beautiful. Not because I'm looking for attention or compliments because that's truly how I feel. I don't believe that I'm not pretty because I can see everything that you don't. I see how my stomach looks when I'm standing in a bra or.. my butt in an underwear. I see the face under the make up. I see every little flaw about myself, even if you can't. I know I'm not pretty because I'd be lying if I said I was.

i just want to be more like you.

2010-09-19T22:39:00.002+08:00

I'm now back in Brunei..

Surprisingly, I didn't feel anything when I was about to leave Philippines unlike the past. And it kinda felt good. I feel brave. I feel strong. And it's really a good thing. I used to cry a bit because of the feeling I get whenever I'm about to leave them and I'd miss them so bad like I never want to leave Philippines again.

But, don't you think it's ironic? I really really love Philippines, yet I stay here in Brunei where I grew up. I could always study in the Philippines, yet again, I chose here. No one is stopping me to stay in the Philippines but myself.

I guess life is really just like that.

I went to church today. It was so awesome. I already felt God there once I stepped into the venue. Kind of amazing actually. That God is still there. And I don't need to worry about God leaving me.. because I have my faith. We were anointed with oil just now.

And it was kind of funny because I had bumps all over my forehead due to lack of sleep these days and I was thinking that the person who would put oil on me would touch my bumps.

I know, awkward. But yeah, nothing happened. I mean the part where the person touched my bumps, guess it's still the same. HAHA.

Anyway, feeling anointed was a superb feeling. Can't describe. Way too awesome. :D

School starts tomorrow. Wow. Fast, huh?

Now, it's 'Disappointment''s cue.

I haven't done anything yet. Nothing yet. Feeling so empty.. My brain cells are so in a holiday.

Uploaded at least five or six albums in two weeks when I was in the Philippines. Should do it more often. :D Check out my albums. It's all there.

I forgot the umbrella my brother gave me. :(

So yeah.. I'm going to brace myself for tomorrow. Whatever may happen, I'll lay it all to God.

Good luck tomorrow, students! & Good night! (:

just a heads up, girl, just a heads up.

2010-09-14T11:53:00.003+08:00

Great. Been trying to find videos for Biology and Physics projects and so far, I've gotten zero eggs. Not gooood. I haven't actually been spending lots of time to do this project but I just have to blog about this to get this frustration out of me. I should really give time for my studies and maybe a kick on my face? :D Just saying.

And I forgot to write down the topics for the projects. How great right?

I messaged Christina already. Which means I will really have to do it tomorrow. Oh my, I really wish I have more time.

How can you possibly do assignments and projects in a holiday? In a wonderful holiday? HOW?

Gosh, I hate teachers.

Why do I keep doing things last minute?

Kay, bye!

don't judge a book by its cover.

2010-09-13T00:16:00.015+08:00

Currently, I have sore eyes. Yes, my eyes are red and I look like a zombie. So much for a holiday...

Still managed to do a very lame photo shoot. Can't even post it in Facebook. HAHA.

It was during the Yellow Cab night. We ordered pizza at midnight. It was a good Saturday night. :) Indeed, it was.

Credits to my very lame brother, Jun-Jun.

[The Sore Eye]

Told ya, it's very lame..

Sorry for not really updating this blog. It's kind of busy here in the Philippines. All I do is eat though and have some fun.

I still need to do lots of things. And so far.. I haven't done anything..

There's still homework in Math and projects to do in Biology and Physics. Plus, I still need to study for Math, again, we're having a test on the whole topics this year and yes, I'm going to die.

The other day, Dad was asking me about my marks... I couldn't say anything. As in couldn't. I started sweating out of nervous and when I looked at Mom for help, she wasn't looking at me. So all I told my Dad was, "I don't remember." And then the spicy hot ketchup sauce on the chicken wing I was eating splattered on my face and I thank God for the time being. Such a good timing. :D Although! The ketchup really really hurt my eyes! After washing it, my eyes were all red.

Then, my Dad kind of had forgotten about it... Yeay!

[I'll die when he comes back to Brunei, though. -.-]

A question: Does my school, SMSS, has any real updated website?

I need an answer. I'm sort of lazy to search for it... Okay, maybe I will.

Sorry for my friends who want souvenir.. I'm really sorry. Can't buy anything now.. Kind of have financial crisis.. Not gooood. HAHA. Just kidding, I'm saving money. Plus! There are no sales! What a bummer to shop right? So, I'll just buy in December. :D

I always forgot to bring the camera when we go out. I should, must and always bring the camera. It's amazing you know. The camera, I mean. It captures amazing moments..

Oh. Here's the link to my album in Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/album.php?aid=229721&id=551458159

Yeap. I bet you're bored now. Enjoy!

& oh, check this out! :D A game!

i'm going to miss you so much, love.

2010-09-04T14:24:00.007+08:00

Words can't describe how much I love being with you guys.

stop ignoring, hear me out.

2010-09-03T23:03:00.003+08:00

News flash!

I got my baby back! :D :D Mom brought the laptop back. Yeaaaaaayyyyy!

I'm super happy! HEHEHEHE.

Anyway! Yeah. The plan for today worked out perfectly.

Didn't really do anything in the youth practice though. Just watched and listened. Kind of cool.

I'm having second thoughts about singing.. I don't know how to sing. D: I suck at it; always out of tune.. -.-

Then went to Dev's birthday party. It was okay. :) Not many people though.. expected my classmates like Aleena would come but they didn't. We were practically the only girls; including Jeunneze. Yes, I brought Jeunneze along.. And it sort of went bad. :\ I shouldn't have brought her..

But it was our last night before I go home and won't see each other for two weeks..

It was all Jasper's fault. D: *sigh*

Can't wait for pictures! I know my blog is like so boring right? All words and no pictures.. I promise when Christina uploads the pictures, I will post them here.

I'm so glad that I've got my laptop back. Though Mom was a bit angry.. but whatever, she had to give it to me. Because we're going home tomorrow. HA-HA.

We're going to reach Philippines at 4 or 5 am. :O Weird.. I bet I'll be sleepy. But I don't think so.. Because Christina will be there! Plus! I heard that Kat is coming with us! ;) ;)

Okay, that was supposed to be a surprise for me and Chris but Cheen accidentally spilled it; she didn't know that we didn't know about it.

OH! I got the pictures from Manny already. He tagged me in Facebook. The one where we went to the mall. :) Here they go.

ALL GOOD, then!

I can't believe that after so many weeks have passed, I've gotten over you.

Guess it's not real after all. No, you're not like him.

Because if you are, I wouldn't get over you.

wake me up inside.

2010-09-02T20:31:00.002+08:00

Thoughts right now:

Cousins are gone; my room is so quiet.

My mom is already packing.. :O :O

I decided to edit some photos; but the bluetooth won't work at the moment and I forgot that there's no editor here in this desktop.

No one is really on Tumblr right now.. And so as in Twitter. I wonder where the people went..

I guess they have something so much better to do than sit in front of the computer the whole day, unlike me.

I'm so lazy to update 'Wala' even though this is my chance to continue what I had left off last night.

I'm so lazy that all I have to do is to type when I have already written out on paper the story.

...Can I just scan it?

Formspring has become boring.. no one's asking anymore.

Bummer today. Had only 70% in Chemistry. How nice, what I had just expected.

We - Christina, Cheen and I - did some picture taking in my phone camera and since the bluetooth-pendrive isn't working, I can't put it into the computer because the cable of my phone isn't working anymore.

Knew that Teacher has the same flight as Christina and I..

Speaking of that Katrina isn't coming with us.. :|

She's only going to send her mom to the airport so we'll just see each other there. BUMMER.

Plus! We were reminded of my cousins that the flight is on Saturday midnight.

We actually thought it was on Sunday midnight.

How dumb. If we didn't know, we'd miss the flight.

Went to the mall with Cheen, Chelle, Manny and Wilson. Honestly.. it was just okay. Not many people were in the mall so it was quite boring. And we saw some people we know too. Oh and Wilson! He gave me his PSP. I'm still not sure if he's really giving it to me or.. he'll ask for money sooner or later. HAHA.

He sent me home too. How nice of him. And he paid for the food. How very nice of him. How very very nice of him! :)

Went to Chung Hwa/Hua for the very first time just now when we picked up Wilson's sister.

And knew more about 'bestfriend.'

Bought Nerds and finished them by at least an hour later.

Strummed the guitar for a while only to practice the frets.

The Internet. More guitar. Downloading some PSP games.

So tomorrow, I have to do the laundry. Mom is already packing and I was so shocked. Weird, my parents are always like that. Guess they don't have much time to pack things.. I'll start packing tomorrow too and Saturday morning and afternoon.

Will be going to AFC tomorrow with Jeunneze for the youth practice. Though I won't be doing anything because I won't be in church on Sunday and it's doubtful that I'll sing. I'll leave that to Jeunneze and the back up singers. :D

Then after that, will be going to Dev's birthday in his house until the night. Oh, I hope it's fun.

Karen texted me: "OMG babes! Im at huaho kiulap now and chilli's here also. :\ He looks hot and i look like shit Hahaha XD just saying.teehee."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Karen, oh, Karen. So funny!

you should know, tomorrow never knows.

2010-08-31T21:09:00.007+08:00

I miss writing. I miss making little notes. I miss my laptop. I miss things being easy. I miss my mom. I miss my brothers. I miss my family. I miss Saturday night outs. I miss having the time of my life. I miss anti-problem moments. I miss real friends. I miss the mere act of fun. I miss God.

There. I've said it.

Oh, no. My life sounds miserable!

Nah, don't think what I think you're thinking. I don't go cut my wrist or what ever emo people do who thinks their life is over. Nah, I'm not going to do that.

Oh hey, holiday is in two days! Booyah!

Flight is on 5th of September, two weeks in the Philippines. What I'mma do? I'm going to try to force my 'sponsors' in Paris to sponsor me. Okay, I sound mean saying that. JK.

I'm just going to chill, then.

I want to show this.. for Jeunneze. This is the almost-similar car I had dreamed about in my dreams where Fish was there with W. HAHAHA. (Okay, inside joke)

And.. I'm trying to find the black Audi picture I had saved. I think I saved that in the laptop. -.-

It's S's car! I forgot to send it into Chris's direct messages. :( The car is so sexy..

I don't know if I had reblog it in Tumblr (I found it in Tumblr) and if I try to find it, it's going to take forever. But I will try. :D

Tumblr is just amazing!

This happens all the time.

This is just so gay, isn't? :| Reminds me of Fish and all the other boys who look like a Barbie.

CAN I HAVE YOUR OPINIONS/SAY ABOUT TATTOOS?

This is my point of view. Tattoo is not really a bad thing. But, since I'm a Christian, I live by God. So, as a Christian..

1) We're supposed to have the Holy Spirit live within us; the Holy Spirit is supposed to be pure so if we take in bad things to our body, wouldn't that just seem so useless?

2) God merely borrowed us this body; if for example, you borrowed me your favourite shirt and when I returned it back to you, it's all destroyed, it's rugged, stained with cuts and slashes. How would you feel?

So it's the same. How do you think God would feel if you die and return your human body to him? We're not going to be in this flesh forever, you know. Do you think He'll like what you did to his property?

BUT! Don't you think this is so pretty? :3

So, tell me now.

Hey there handsome,

will you save me?

2010-08-31T20:41:00.002+08:00

Do we still take note that life is short? Ever heard of that? Because if no, then you should be reminded again. It's short. That's why maybe we should just give in everything we have, do something good and give love to the people who needs it.

Coming back home from the wake last night, I was reminded again that we have a race to finish. We just don't run in circles again and again. There's the finish line, go for it.

Even though they're gone, sometimes I still don't believe it. How could they be possibly gone when it feels like it's still the same? It's like they're just in a long holiday somewhere around the world. Is this even possible? Miracles happen, right? Right? If God raised people from the dead.. He can do it.. Right?

It can happen just like what happened in the movie I watched in Jeunneze's house; The Other Side Of Heaven. It was based on a true story. After at least two days of praying without ceasing, the boy was alive again.

It can happen again, right? Why can't we just do it like in the movie? Why not pray without ceasing?

When will the truth really sink in?

i will wait, i will always wait.

2010-08-27T13:36:00.008+08:00

Bringing in the memories..

Yeah, I just wanted to post those. I'm a bit bored...

Don't you ever just want to go back in time again? To fix all the mistakes you've done..

To take the opportunities you've missed out in your life before, where on that time you'd really grab it for sure..

Or give more time to the people whom you should have given much more time before..

Just.. rewind back time, just for once. Just for once. It might be worth it..

Maybe it's really just a lesson that, we should make everyday of our life worth living for; Love life, love the people. Value it, value the people. Because sometimes, it might just be too late.

God has every purpose on each of everyone.

your smile is worth a billion dollars.

2010-08-26T14:27:00.004+08:00

You know what's one thing to really die for?

F I S H

there's so much more about you.

2010-08-25T13:52:00.011+08:00

My mother took my laptop and I'm suffering using this desktop. It's so slow! It's frustrating. Like every click, I must wait for at least a minute and I'm not exagerating. How can you not get pissed off? My mom is so angry at me starting Monday. Because on Monday, I didn't go to school and she blames Facebook. -.-' When I woke up at 10am on Monday morning, the laptop was freaking gone. All my files. My albums. My songs. My composing. My pieces. It's gone. My mom took all of it.And one solution to get the laptop back is: I must ace my upcoming Chemistry test. I must. I must get 100%.. Or above 80%. And I'm going to do it. Just you wait and see.

This laptop is really crazy. It's so lagging. I'm even typing now.. without the words coming out.. Ah, there it came out! :D Get me? If I type super fast, the letters won't appear until I stop typing again. So funny yet, so irritating. Ugh.
I can't open multiple tabs or else it'll get stuck for god knows how long. And I won't be able to do anything. Just now, I had to wait for at least 15 minutes before the computer starts functioning again.
I keep asking my mom about the laptop and wondering what's the difference? And she'd just ignore me.. -.- I guess she knows how slow this computer is and wants me to suffer badly from out of patience. Maybe, this is merely a test for me; PATIENCE. Oh well.

Every morning I wake up, I count the days. 11 days more till home. It really feels like a long time already. I miss everyone back home.

Today in school, everyone got kicked out of the Bio lab because of me.. particularly. If I didn't ask who was Oliver Sykes is.. They wouldn't have shouted. Cheen and Chelle was like, "Oliver Sykes! You don't know?! He's the lead vocalist in Bring Me The Horizon!" And, "Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!" And, "He's so hot, he's so hot!" And more shouting until Sajid joined in to scream with his girl scream.. So basically, it was my fault. And I didn't admit that to teacher.
We ended leaving the laboratory and sitting in the hallway by the class and it was so hot.

But then, it was cool. Wait no, it's not cool. Teacher said that we won't have classwork and we'll get zero. ZERO. An egg. O. Okay, that was an o. This is a zero, 0. (: See the difference? [Okay, I'm going out of topic]

Anyway! The whole class sat on the floor in a line. Kind of a nice view but again, it was hot.
I will never, ever again, ask who the celebrities are. EVER.
Speaking of that, I googled Oliver Sykes and I've got to be honest in this, he's not really that good looking. I should just really stick to googling things up instead of asking my screaming classmates which will lead all of us to punishments.
OH! I was sitting beside Christina just now and when I was about to speak the first words, saliva just randomly came out from my mouth. Like, WTH. I seriously didn't know what happened. I know, so unlady like. No, I'm not embarrassed or anything. It was so epic! So funny! HEHEHE.

AND.
Listened to Katrina's Ipod during BMR. Teacher doesn't care.. as long as you do her work.

Don't you just want to dress like this all the time? (;

There's no Live Messenger here in this computer so I just log in the ebuddy.com

And guess what?!

Rock and roll actually means something more than what it really means. And it's in my email. arna_rock_roll@hotmail.com I know, so poklen-ish right? I was in primary 5! D:

So rock 'n' roll means... Just Google it for yourself like I did. And you will be shock. (:

Don't you also want to have something this kind? Endless money? :D

OMGOSH. I forgot that my blog has already had it's anniversary! How sad that I forgot about it! It's the 7th of August! My blog is 2 years old! :')

Plus, I am very happy that, FINALLY!, Christina Marie has uploaded the pictures of our badminton 'match'. It's kind of funny. :) View her blog!

Caio, amigos. :) I have to study and really ace that Chem test. And also study accounts. Then head to AFC for choir practice.

P.S. Katrina wants to go to the mall. She will 'belanja' :D Since I don't have any money.. How sad. But then Karen wants to go on Friday. -.- I want Saturday.. But whatevs!

I HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE FONTS!

sorry.

remember the promise, He said.

2010-08-23T10:16:00.007+08:00

Have you ever been in a situation where everything is just crumbling down on you? Like all the heavy burdens is on your shoulders? Where you feel like you can't do anything anymore but just fall on the ground, helpless and despair, and just really thinking that you should give everything up? ... Have you?
Because I have.

I'm like a confused, lost person in my own town. And I don't know how will I ever get this through. Or, if. I don't know if I will get through this.
All the teachings, all the prayers and all the cell groups just means .. nothing to me. I can't hear God. It's like I've been totally abandoned alone on this earth. I wonder where I have gone wrong?

I tried my best to hear God, praying every night in the dark but still, nothing. It seems as if the more I pray and I get no response from God, the more I sin. The more and more I sin. Which means.. I'm defeated? No, it can't be. It can never be. God captured my heart already... and I promised I'll be His. But then, what happened to the first love? The first encounter? The real true daughter of God?

I may be all jumping in praise of God, giving everything I have to Him, lifting my highest voice to Him to just hear Him once again, or feel Him once again but no... It's as if the connection has gone. Like being low signal on both lines and I just can't hear a single voice that everybody's talking about.

What happened? I don't know. It's like the fire has stopped burning. The joy has completely gone. And, the love, it's like it has been taken away from me.

I'm dying. My spiritual life is dying.
In this battle that I know I can't win by my own, I'll hold on to God's merciful hands.
I can't lose this forever.. I have to hold myself together.

better hugs than drugs!

2010-08-21T19:37:00.010+08:00

Isn't it just perplexing that two people have different emotions at the same time. Wherein this person feels like he's the happiest human being on earth whilst that person is crying her heart out as if he just lost the people he loves.

I wonder why. Shouldn't the happy one be with the sad one? To comfort? Or the sad one to be the happy one to forget all the sorrows?

I guess we're made differently and uniquely in our ways. :)

It's kind of terrifying that some people are so smart, I feel so small. How can they be so smart and can do everything? Maybe we don't have the same capabilities? Or, it's just that some people - like me- just don't make enough effort to get what they want? Or maybe people have their own talents and can only do certain things?

Then I was reminded of Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

I feel like downloading music now. I have very bad taste in music. Guess I'm not really musically talented. It'll come out soon. Hopefully.

Apparently, you can just listen to music in BearShare. Without the need of downloading it but it's like YouTube. -.-' It's okay, though.

Today is so boring. I don't like Saturdays. Our subjects every Saturday is a killer machine. We have POA, Physics, Chemistry, Biology and Commerce. -.-

It's so irritating.

I was so bored to death, I couldn't stand Oompa Loompa's smell, that I wrote a story on the last page of my Chemistry notes book. [Christina; Get the hint over there? ;)]

I didn't do the homework in Maths. Teacher is so... So hard to please. I can't believe I got half percent in the last test. Makes me want to just bang my head on the wall (which I will never do, anyway). And Cheen got 10% for writing the workings in pencil but the final answers are in pen. Tell me how unreasonable is that? Anyone? Tell me now.

Telling it again: If you, teachers, suck on teaching us properly and being a bitch to us, we won't like the subject and eventually will not study your subjects, will not do the homework and classwork you give us. Entiende? We pay the school to teach us properly and you'll teach us like garbage. Public is much better, honestly.

I want to commit suicide. Yes, I'm serious. NO. I'm not serious. Can tell the sarcasm?

But yes, I want to die because I am so skinny. People call me bones and skin.

How awesome, isn't?

How sad. I want to be F-A-T. I need to be fat. I'm all bones. :(

I'm gonna cut my hair soon. My long hair is killing me.

YAY. Tomorrow's Sunday! Going choir for the first service in church.

Spending my day again in the house of God.

P.S. Please tell me if the font is too small? Or do you like the big fonts? :) I already put a chat box. (The 'open cbox' thingy didn't work out after all. Too bad, I gave up)

P.S.S. I wonder what will happen tomorrow. ;) We'll just wait and see.

Typical, typical, typical yet amazing.

2010-08-20T10:35:00.018+08:00

I've changed my blog skin. :) What do you think? I know it looks dim and all.. And I'm trying to put in a chat box because the blog skin does not allow the cbox to be big. I'm still trying to figure out how to put it in the 'open box' thingy. I've tried it for how many times already but I will not give up. I also know that no one would really post anything up. HAHA. People just want to be anonymous and creeps. Not that I'm saying it's bad to read my blog. If I said it was, why the hell would make my blog public then? Common sense, please.

So just a thought:

First impressions kills everything about me. Most people think I'm not friendly, with my stern face and looking like I could kill people with my eyes.. But, no. That is not true. Definitely not true. I promise you that. So that's why people don't really speak to me and start calling me names. How immature. It's just so fascinating that some people whom I don't know exist actually bother to talk about me when, hell, they don't even know one single information about me. They know my name, but not my story. That goes for them.

Who are they anyway? Attention seeker gorilla faced. Sorry that people don't talk about you. Sorry that we don't talk about you. Reason number one, because we don't know you. Two, we don't talk about people and call them names. Three, we're not attention seeker and gorilla faced. Don't you just think talking about us is just a waste of time? Note that I never spoke to you, ever. And you have the guts to use your tongue and spill things on the floor which will lead to no where. Therefore, you should stop what you're doing, leave us alone and have a life.

It's my nephew in cousin's birthday! ;)

There he is! Gabriel! Baby Gab, in a Santa hat. (:

And this is my another nephew's! In cousin also. ;)

It's not his birthday or anything but I just wanted to post this picture. He's so cute! I remember taking this picture.

Oh! The firework picture above is my cousin's. She took it when there was a firework display in the Philippines before. I remember it being really smoky. But it was worth it. A free firework display at the mall. Awesome memories.

HEHS.

So, anyways. I'm going to Cheen's house later. We're going to a youth gathering in Dandel's church. A Christian church. Just going to check it out. I wonder what will the music be like. I'm kinda excited, kinda only. :D

Katrina isn't going. Chelle isn't going. So as Karen and Christina, I think? I guess it's only me and Cheen for now.

Alright, bye. (;

Forget the fear, love.

2010-08-17T13:35:00.012+08:00

Through the raging seas, I will be still and know You're with me.

Hi! Christina told me to update.. So I am now..

I know, it's the third week of August now. Time just flies so fast, I can't keep up with it. And how is that even possible? It's almost September too. I'm going back to Philippines. And guess what? Turns out, Chris and Kat have the same flight as I do. So, it's going to be awesome in the airport and airplane. Woots! I just can't wait.
I'll make sure I will be seating with them! No exception. I will be seating with them for sure. But then, it's going to be sad after we land in the Philippines. 'Cause we're going to our own separate ways. (LOL. Drama much?) Chris will be in Bisaya? Katrina will be in Pampanga? And I will be in Quezon City, Manila. How saddening. & I don't even have much money to go shopping. Oh wells, I guess I could leave that to December shopping. More sales there. :D I will probably be just hanging out with my family for two weeks only. I already miss them. It feels like a year already since the last time I went back to the Philippines.

The other day, Chris and I were talking about college. Yes, the big word. College. Sounds scary, isn't? Yes, I'm scared for college. I don't know what will happen to me. I don't know what the future holds for me. Though I trust God with my whole life and I believe that His plans are perfect.
I don't know what I will be in the future. An engineer is totally a no. Doctor is so a no too. Basically, I want something that has got nothing to do with Math. Yes, I know what you're thinking. You don't have to elaborate on it and I won't too. Maybe I'll just take stewarding. Or, law. Although, my brother is taking up Political Science and when he continue it to another 4 years to real law, he'll be a lawyer by then. So now what? Two lawyers in the family? D: My second brother is probably taking Engineering; he'd already taken exams in different colleges in the Philippines. And the main target is the University of the Philippines where my first brother is studying. It's so hard to get into UP you know? But I believe my brother will get in by the help of God. God had let my first brother in.. if He had done it, God can do it again. It's just that simple.
Why am I even talking about my brothers? I should be focusing in myself. It's just so confusing. Maybe I'll take Literature. Oooh~ that'd be nice. My cousin's boyfriend said that course would be so easy. Hmm.. I'll think about it.

Times are hard now. I'm bored. And all my mom said was, "We'll go home soon... Everyone has to sacrifice."

School. School is as usual okay. I thank God that my marks aren't that low anymore. I'm passing all the tests now. Even though I got 50% for Chemistry.
I'm trying to fix everything now. Not by own, but with the help of God. Everyone knows I'm nothing without God. Everyone is nothing without God.

"In this world, money matters most." - I can't tell the name who actually said it but I just wanna ask you, money matters most? In this world? You have got to be kidding me. Money is just money. It won't bring you to heaven. You'll eventually die and leave this world then where will you go? If you worship money, then.. I guess you know. What is happening to those kind of people, you ask? I have no idea. All I can do is pray.

I heard this Christian band called Fireflight from Cheen. I listened to the songs and I realized it's like a Christian song and then I looked it up on Wikipedia and yes, it says there that Fireflight is a Christian band; a Christian rock band. The lyrics are awesome. And the vocalist is just crazy! Crazy in a good way. Her voice is so high, when she's singing the chorus, it's like she's shouting.
I don't care if you call me loser 'cause I'm so outdated at this kind of stuff. Sorry, I'm not perfect. I just go with the flow~
'Forever' is really nice. :)
Oh, tell me You're here. That You will watch over me forever. Oh, take hold of my heart. Show me You'll love me forever.
Cheen told me about the YouTube videos to audios converter. I want new songs but I'm too lazy to download YouTube videos and download the converter. I guess I'll just listen to songs in YouTube. Internet in my house is pretty great, it's fast.

And! I miss reading. I want to buy new books and the problem is, I don't have cash right now. Guess I really just need to wait and just borrow books from people. :\
And! Last month, I think, I literally broke two glasses. Sorry, Mom. The glass slipped from my hand. Or my grip loosened. I have a photo of it.

And me! Still wearing the school PE uniform.

And! I thought the pringles container was really pringles but when I opened it, it was cheetos inside. ;) Probably my cousin's doing. She has a twitter now, by the way! :P It's @chelle12john. HEHS. Just saying.
And! I webcammed with Christina! :D It was fun. SO PANI.

AND yes, I know it's so late. But we went to this expo, Bridex like ages ago.. So, here are some pictures.

At last, I've been to Paris! :P

And more in my Facebook photos. Link: Here.
There are so many fail photos. And the camera isn't that good so bear with me.

We went to the land in Sungai Hancing last last Sunday and it was great! Really really great. God has something stored for AFC.

Okay, what were we actually doing here? Ivan took this shot! :\ Where were we looking? >:|
Woots! The I LOVE BRUNEI shirts. :D
Soul sister, bebeh.

Then it became dark already. We went down at around 6 or 7 and it was quite scary to go down from that hill. Then we went to BBQ in a rooftop somewhere in Gadong. It was so fun! Gette was there, too. No, everybody was there!
The pictures are with Jeunneze and I'm going to take it from her soon. Soon shall be very soon.

Bye, Christina. You know I love you. :)

P.S. I sometimes get too overboard when I blog. Like this.

don't fret, just smile.

2010-08-07T14:43:00.006+08:00

I am still alive, okay?

I'm just so lazy to blog.. The other, I so wanted to blog but then I forgot. Then it went on and on until now. I don't even remember the last time I blogged. Wait, Imma check... OH~ July 29! :\

I have this friend who always blog, like everyday after school. I wonder how she does that.. I should do that too.

You know sometimes I wish my mind is connected to blogger. So that whatever I think will be here. ;)

Tests are okay I guess. I'm actually glad that I don't have lo

w marks yet. Though Chemistry is an exception. I don't understand anything since Teacher Faezah left. :\ So, I'm like crawling in Chemistry while my classmates are running like a lightning bolt. But good thing today in Chem, for the first time by the way, I understood what she taught us. And I'm so happy.

I finally know how to write the chemical formula! :D YAYERS!

This is my 'personal theory': If I get high marks in my tests, it makes me like the subject. Like, I'm really interested in it. Thank you for teachers who are being patients. Exclude Drug Lord!

He kicked me, Cheen and Karen out of Commerce today. Okay, fine, I admit. It was entirely my fault. I got them to talking.

POA is always fun. Teacher Rajesh is just always fun. Ummi w

as absent so I sat on her place. And we were told to do some works and so we did it. I kept talking to Chelle beside me, but that didn't mean I wasn't doing my work 'cause I was. Then I kept annoying teacher until he said, 'I prefer Ummi here. I regret asking you to sit here.' And everyone laughed. -.-

I was practically the only person who was talking. :\ Until I was singing, Bad Romance version, Ra-ra-ra-ra-je-ish. :P And he was looking at me with the small 'kinda-pissed' smile. But I know he wasn't pissed anyway. And he gave me 99%! But I wrote down 100% on the paper anyway. (He told me to write down the marks.. Loserrrr.)

Today.. is actually fun, I just realized.

I'm doing the laundry now, currently. How saddening.

Sunday is going to be awesome! :D We practiced the song we're going to sing on the hill. Whoossh~ Really excited. :) I'm so glad I'm a part of AFC. Really a blessing. Mighty!

RECAP. (Even though this happened like ages ago)

We had a field trip to ICC. I don't really know what that field trip about. Anyway, it was kind of fun! The pictures are with Chelle and it's been dinosaur's ages, she hasn't uploaded them yet. :(

Oh well, whatevs.

Sportsfest Cheering Dancing competition was epic! :D Green Commandos won overall! How awesome!

So, this is from a friend in Twitter.

Woot~ We're in the front! :D The trophy is really cool.

I can't believe they only have Sportsfest like every decade or something. In STPRI, we have it every year. It's really awesome.

Next year if there's Sportsfest again, I want to participate. Maybe in running. :)

AUMG. Look!

Awesome. I want to go there and just die! :P

through You, i can do anything.

2010-07-29T21:36:00.021+08:00

Gosh, people now are so idiot and retarded! Like, seriously.

You add people on Facebook and then the person you added will ask you, 'who is this?' Seriously! Why do you need to ask people who they are when you can read their names on the screen name! Such idiots. They're like asking for instant death. And I just freaking don't know what to do with them. Ignore, ignore, ignore.

(But then, it'd be weird.. Hmm.. I'm going to think later)
I bet he was just jealous because I didn't add him and I'm not talking to him. He's so gay he can't even have a girlfriend. Yuck.

Anyway!

WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

It's almost two weeks I didn't update! TWO WEEKS. What a record.

Since two weeks has passed, I don't really know what happened. BUT, I'll try to remember what happened and be exact.

We had tests. Lots of tests. Like every month, duh. Failed Maths. Not a surprise there. I forgot we had test! Same goes with Commerce; I mean about not remembering we had test. I passed, okay? I'm not that dumb. Then we just had POA today. I messed up my Profit & Loss Account section. But I was correct in the Trading part.

Oompa Loompah was really funny today. Okay, she got mad because we didn't bring our workbook and like half the class didn't bring. And we're supposed to feel all sad and sorry right? Instead, we were laughing quietly because of her freaking Indian accent.

At English, Jasper talked to Iman and Dev about Oompa Loompah and her accent. Dang, it was just hilarious! Jasper actually said, 'Try mixing chinese accent with Oompa's accent,' and they were all speaking in accents and I couldn't help but stop doing my English and laughed with them.

It might sound mean, but it's not my fault that they give entertainment to life unintentionally. :D

OMG. I'm having a writer's block. I have mild amnesia. Not good. I'm forgetting things. HELP.

SINCE I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED!
I'M JUST GOING TO POST PHOTOS.

Will: "Who cares what happens when we get there, when the getting there has been so much fun?"

No matter how many ups and downs I have in life, I stay strong because I have God and friends. And I will just be still.

i love you.
isn't it obvious already? it's plain black and white.

I'm like dying in here already.
I don't know what to blog.. I mean I literally forgot what happened these past weeks. SORRY. I'm sure you guys don't really wanna know what's happening to me.

I'm listening to Glee songs. Finn raps so good! I want to watch Season 2 now!
I know, totally random.

Having late night chats with Christina is just awesome. We say so many things on chats more than in real life. And it's always funny. :)

I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me~

I'm in need of braces! People with braces are so cool! They have designs on their teeth!
I'm jealous. I want to have one too!

TOMORROW, we're going to have Sports fest Cheering Competition! Oh yeah, going to have lots of pictures.. just maybe though. :P Tomorrow's going to be great. I'm in Green so I'm cheering for Green Commandos. Like, duh. *Flips hair* and *does Cheen's 'stupid' reaction*

Speaking of Cheen, have you seen her video where she was singing, 'Pyramid'? No? Okay well, here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v0uROnCgCU
It's great! :D Of course!

So yeah, I guess that's all. I've done one of my chores. :D Which is doing the laundry.
I'll be back again.

And oh, tomorrow is the last day of July. How fast. So fast I can't really catch up with the days. And then it's August. Dang~
*BIG SIGHING.*

yes, You've won my heart.

2010-07-18T20:31:00.000+08:00

I just want to say thank You God for making anything possible. Truly nothing is impossible for You, You're the God of the impossible and You've proven it. Thank You so much Father, for hearing my cries and prayers every night and that I know that You're always with me no matter what. Thank You Lord Jesus for Your unconditional love, Your endless love, Your undying love for me. Thank You Father that You never fail me in life even though I've been in so much suffering, trials and problems. Thank You God for answering my prayers about Ivan. Truly Lord, You're the God of everything. Thank You God that You don't ask for anything to become one of Your children. Thank You Lord for forgiveness. And blessings. Whatever Your plan is for us, Father, let Your will be done. I'm so amazed by you, Lord. Thank You Jesus again, for Your love that makes everything perfect. My hope will always stand, for You hold me in Your hand.

I'm just so happy that God made it possible for my friends to come at the concert night. I believe that there's no such thing as 'hard hearts' to God. I'll keep and won't stop praying for them until something happens.

Concert night was just awesome. It made me miss camp. LOL. I don't know, there's something more exciting in camp, I guess. Camp was just the real definition of awesome. I jumped in praises to God and I was just so happy. You know, joy was just really in there. And it amazes me so much.

And I'm thankful. How I wish we could do that everyday, every hour, every minute and every second to be just in the presence of God. Concert night was a revival for Brunei. We're going to be revivalists for God. We're always going to be hungry and thirsty for God. It's never going to be enough, I just want
more or more of God. And that is just all I want.

I was just super thankful to God about Christina, Cheen and Chelle responded to the alter call.
Even Patrick (whom Jeunneze invited and later got infected by the laughing spirit) responded to the alter call as well. It was just a sight. I'm so proud of my friends. I can't wait for them to truly know who God is and have a relationship that's everlasting.

People cried their hearts out to God that night. So desperate to feel God, so heavy were the burdens on their shoulders. And it was such joy to see the burdens, the weight that used to bring them down, being lifted up from their shoulders. Having a revival in this place was such a sight to see and I'm so thankful to God.

After that, the pastor began praying for the laughing spirit! And everyone was just laughing. It was scary at first. 'Cause one moment they were crying and the next they were laughing like crazy people. :D LOL. Patrick got the laughing spirit and he couldn't stop. As in, couldn't stop.
It was so funny!
And they were really ROFL! That was where you could really see people rolling on the floor laughing for real! :) I wish we have another concert night.

After the concert night, I slept over at Jeunneze's house! So much fun! Her mom came back from the Philippines that afternoon so she brought ice cream and food and souvenirs from Philippines. And the ice cream was just fantastic. I missed it so much. I promise when I get back to Philippines this September, I will buy ice cream, Selecta, and eat it every day and night. I promise. And have Starbucks everyday too. And pizza, Sbarro. And McDonald's. Okay, McD there is like super duper cheap. McFlurry costs like (converting) $1 in here. And here, it costs $3. How fun to eat and eat and eat and eat. I can't wait to finally gain weight. (Oooh~ that rhymes!)
ANYWAY, we didn't sleep until 4am which causes us to not be able to come at first service where we're supposed to go choir. How disappointing right. But yeah, it was fun singing in Jeun's new 'WOW' karaoke. :) Jeunneze has got a really really really nice voice. I wonder why she isn't in the youth music ministry.. she could be in back up vocals or something right? Oh well, I guess there's still something 'fishy' going on in there and it might be better to not spill things here. BUT SERIOUSLY, she has a super nice voice! She could sing you to death. (JK) People haven't yet heard her voice but someday they will and they'll be sorry. She's even better than the back u - OKAY, I'M STOPPING.

I look so ugly in side views. :|

Jeunneze's cute turtle. Trying hard to sing.

And this is me wearing Jeun's clothes which don't fit her anymore. And her.. wig. The curly curly wig. People think it's real! :) Cool.

During Father's Day.

Jeun and I with Ate Alex.

We found out the Jeunneze means YOUTH. O:)

You know, I'd smile my biggest to you.
It was an afternoon to remember. Where I finally got to speak to you.
Even it was just mere minutes. It still felt like heaven.

i'm officially missing you.

2010-07-16T11:34:00.014+08:00

HELLO :)

Had choir practice on Wednesday and I came late. The practice starts at 7pm sharp and I came around 8pm. But yeah, I think it was okay though. I just don't wanna be late again next time. I'm glad we're singing 'At The Foot Of The Cross'. It's a very nice song.

Sultan's birthday! YESTERDAY! Happy birthday to him. He's 64 years old now. Brunei is really blessed to have a sultan like him. He's generous and humble. And he really cares about his people. I hope he has more years to come and God bless him.

We waved flag on the streets that Thursday morning and we had to wear tudong. I miss wearing it, actually. Brings in the memories of STPRI. And I kind of actually forgot the feeling of wearing tudong. Though it's very hot and sometimes gets irritating. But it's nice. Christina won't stop saying stuff about her tudong. She kept saying, 'I look so ugly', and stuff like that. BUT I TELL YOU! She didn't look ugly! She looked so cute! Eff the guy who said Christina is weird. He's weirder for saying that! I mean, no one asked him to comment on Christina's tudong, right? FUDGE HIM. Who's that guy, anyway? I want to scandalize his picture all over the Internet. (OKAY, I think I should stop saying things about that guy or else this computer might be broken from typing too much and hard).

FOR MORE PICTURES PLEASE CLICK --->
15th July, 2010.

Something happened again that time.. The same thing that happened on Sports Fest. -.-
Christina should remember this: Big girls don't cry, especially, in public.
Yes, Christina you can hate me now. But I will still love you.

Moving on.

That afternoon, I was supposed to hang out with Chaddy at the mall but then when I reached there I saw her with Paul and they looked so happy so I didn't butt in. Instead, I got Jeunneze to go to the mall with me. It was so much fun. Seriously.
We bought the 'I ♥ Brunei' shirt. Black, just for your information. It's for the dress code tomorrow at the concert night. I can't wait!

But anyway, I think that afternoon with Jeunneze, I was laughing most of the times. We saw Ivan, Ms. Pushpa and PL in Ego when we were buying the shirt. Then, we went around and around and then bumped into Catherine and Ryan. And it turned out they were with Aaron, Jerold and the others too. Talked for a while then set off to - supposedly - have a hair cut for Jeunneze, when we reached the salon which was near Just Toys, IT WAS CLOSE. What a waste of energy. Then we went back again to the mall to jalan-jalan while laughing. Since we were tired of walking, Jeunneze wanted McFlurry so we went to McDonald's. Then we saw the guys (jerold and the gang) again! And Ryan was like, 'EH?' pointing at us with the confused looked then smiled. And everyone was there. It was kinda funny, for me. Me and Jeun couldn't stop laughing.
Then we went to K-Box. We sang like five songs. And we were just serious with two songs. We sang, 'All By Myself' by Celion Dion and we just couldn't, couldn't stop laughing. Because we remembered Emma in Glee! Where Emma was crying in her car like a crazy girl and her make up was all messed up and she listening to 'All By Myself' and she was like, 'I'M ALL BY MYSELF, I'M ALL BY MYSELF!' while crying like crazy. HAHA. So it was really funny! Jeunneze was laughing for maybe the whole time I was singing the song.

Okay, I shall not go into further more information. It might be too much and you'd be like -.-
Chelle isn't coming.. and I feel like crying now. :'(

+ POSITIVE THINKING +

God will make a way, when there seems to be no way~
I believe they can come. I believe it.

So anyway, Jeunneze went to my house after we got back from mall. Then we took some pictures in the webcam! Uploaded them in Facebook but I'll post it here too. I love her!

R A W R !

All good! FOR MORE PICTURES CLICK --->
Hey, Soul Sister ♥
Yes, we're soul sisters.

I'm so sad right now but looking at these pictures just makes me feel a little bit happy, where sadness is just slowly fading away.
I know everything will be alright. I have my God.

Dad's not here anymore. He's back in the Philippines.
In the airport.

You see? He kinda looked happy while my mom looked ... O.O No comment.

Yes.. Um, I look like someone I know here. I won't mention who though. HAHA. (My curly hair~)

I think I'll change my profile picture HERE to this. :)

I am beautiful, no matter what they say. Words can't bring me down.

This is my life, I give You all.

2010-07-12T14:25:00.005+08:00

Today in school, we had a drug presentation thingy. A narcotic officer came to school and talked about drugs. In my opinion, I don't think this topic should really be elaborated more. But then, I think it should be too. There's some advantages, like how to say 'no' to drugs. (Duh, just say 'no). Actually, what's the real purpose of ranting this drugs stuff to students aged 14-16? I mean, it's like enlarging our knowledge about drugs, nicknames, how many different drugs there is, which drug makes you high the most, and etc. I don't want people to know more about drugs but at the same time, I think we should know too. So hard to explain. It's like I'm confused about learning sex education. I mean, whether it should be taught to students or not. Get me? Because I don't.

Then there was fire drill in school. It reminds me of my first day in PDS. Yeah, on my first day, there was a fire drill! Chelle thought it was real! And some people were like, rushing. But us, we were just walking like we're walking in Manhattan. APAKAN.
Chemistry is actually fun. Except for our teacher. Gosh, she's annoying and irritating. I wonder how she have fun. Or if she ever had fun in her whole life. I mean, why couldn't she just let us do the experiments? If we ask questions, she'd be banging her table with the white board eraser and say something like, 'this isn't a market place! now listen!' It's not even noisy for goodness' sake! And she'd continue to bang her table so loud and it just took me everything to say, 'STFU!'

Damn. What's up with teachers? They seem to get more worst and worst. Some teachers don't get this. If you're no fun at all, the students will find the subject boring and he/she (i don't care if you call it sensitive or whatever) will dislike you. They must get that. I mean, make the students laugh sometime. Not all serious ALL THE TIME. That'll be one fudge in hell.

People quote so nice now a days. If you call 'quote' it, that is. I don't care it's still nice.
Teacher Lai said today in Maths:

"In the morning, I watch the news and I know who win. At least I don't have to waste my time watching people kick one stupid ball at 2am."

One stupid ball. :P Funny. I never, even once, watch the world cup. But, every morning, I know from my mom. She watches. So weird. And she tells me about the octopus! The octopus is so cool. I don't even think it knows that it's predicting. LOL. It has to eat, of course, so it has to pick one. But then, it's so cool! Like, super cool. I only like the octopus.
Spain won right? Congratulations, then.

Yesterday was fun. Of course, it was Sunday. So, the usual happened. I was in church 'till 5pm. Then went to PJC to practice the song. Er, I don't want to comment about that. But it was ......... okay, I should stop.

We're having this ACTS29 Youth Concert thing on Saturday! It's going to be super fun. I can't wait for it. Invited some people, I really hope they can go. I'll pray for that. I believe God will make a way. Members have to wear, 'I ♥ Brunei' shirt. So it means I have to buy one. I'm bankrupt, you know.. I literally don't have any money right now. I don't wanna ask from my parents again because I've been asking money from them from the past weeks. I'm so malu.
But anyway! I really can't wait to rock the house of God on Saturday. And I'll be sleeping over at Jeunneze's place! I CAN'T WAIT! I CAN'T WAIT! Her mom will be coming back at 12 midnight on Saturday. Epic fun. Her mom is like the best! LOL.

My dad is going back to Philippines on Sultan's birthday! I'll be waving flag on streets and Dad will be going to airport that day. Okay, I know I sound like I'm excited about it and yes, I am! Like super. I can't stand my dad anymore. He's like, always finding ways to scold me or tell me something to do like do something unnecessary. Honestly. I'm not lying. That's what he is. I hope he doesn't get back soon. Just stay with my brothers you know and me and my mom here. It's like girls here, boys there. Oh yeah, I also want to talk about the two different people in the world. And that is, male and female. I guess it's okay to talk about it right? I mean, not weird or anything? I mean because it's what it's really is. Okay, maybe I shall blog it some other time.

Took photos yesterday. But it's in my friends'. I'm gonna tell them to upload the pictures. Like real soon. I want to see them. :)
I should remember to bring camera on Saturday!
I must not forget it. Ever. I always forget to bring it. -.-

Sorry, this is so boring. I know, you don't have to tell me. There's no pictures and stuff. Tumblr won't work on Google Chrome. I hate it! I was updating the story, 'Wala' then in a second, everything closes. Tumblr works on my Mozilla Firefox but not on my Google Chrome. Tumblr on Firefox is so slow as a snail. I can't help but sleep while re-blogging things.

And tomorrow, I'll be following Christina going to her house! Mom's in KB, so yeah. :P Excited, excited.
I love excitement.

Can you rant like this? I bet you can't.

all i wanted was you.

2010-07-08T20:36:00.008+08:00

Have I posted the same title up there before? I think I have though but at the same time.. no.

Okay, so there was a fight in school the other day. Sounds racist but I think the guy they beat up deserved it. It was absolutely entirely his fault anyway.
So much drama. Aren't you tired of it? I sure am.

I found this on Tumblr!
(click 'em if you don't see 'em clearly)
HEH. It's kind of cool. I tried it once and it was real! I'm 14! (LOL. OK. It's just a coincidence that I kind of like mention my age now.. like twice already?)
TRY IT AND TELL ME IF IT WORKED OUT FOR YOU!
I know, I don't have a chat box. I think I'm the only blogger who doesn't have a chat box. No.. wait, Wryck doesn't have one too. So, tell me in Facebook? Or Twitter? Or MSN? LOL.

So, I have a theory on why boys like to watch girl's butts. (But, I won't say it in here).
I only wonder why girls like to watch boy's butt. Aside from the sexiness, of course. I mean, I gotta admit, I like watching guy's asses. (Does that make sound like a bitch or something? TELL ME! -.- of course not, right?) I guess that's me. Me, a girl who watches guy's sexy butts on streets. Apakan. Too bad, I don't have a sexy butt. How ironic.

I kept saying 'LOL!'
What is wrong with me? It's contagious. I got it from a friend whom I always chat with and he always say 'LOL' so it got me saying it and I've been saying it in public places! And in school so I got Christina saying it! :P And Cheen and the others are like, "O.O"
LOL.

Non sense.

I'm doing this so called story in a site and I'm kind of having a 'writer's block.' Oh, no. Not a good sign. It's been like weeks since I last updated? So sorry, especially to Christina. Having a serious writer's block. I'm going to try a new thing though. And, it's a secret for now.

I'm excited about church! I don't know why. I'm just excited! :D :D :D

Mom has been singing Paramore songs and Justin Bieber song. :| And the other day she was singing 'Loving You' and it reminds me of Katrina's version.
It kinda goes like this:

fudging you~
is easy 'cause you're flexible~
doo bi dooo bi dooo bi doo ohhh~

So I was like, 'FTW!' Mom's been singing weird songs now.
Fudging is the F word, okay? Just in case you don't understand. I don't want my blog to be dirty with filthy words.

I know I shouldn't, but I just really feel this ugly feeling.

standing here but you don't see me.

2010-07-05T14:37:00.006+08:00

I'd give it all for that to change~

HEHS. Sunday is always the best day. Always. Even though I'm always tired that day. I never get bored. It's all worth it.

I was in church from 8am to 5pm. :) So much fun. So so so much fun.

After that, I went to the mall to watch Eclipse.

Err, I guess it was okay. Better than the two movies. I mean, the direction was okay. And the way the story goes was great. They like really followed what was in the book and that's one thing I like in every book that's being turned into a movie. Twilight was just horrible. Honestly. The director was really bad. And it was so boring. Eclipse was good, because there was so many fighting scenes! And it just didn't really focus on Edward and Bella which was a very good thing. David Slade was the director, if I'm not mistaken. And in Breaking Dawn, I heard that it's going to be directed by a different director again. SIGH. David Slade was actually really good. I'll rate Eclipse, and I'll be reasonable now, 6.5/10. :D How's that?

Maybe for some other people, it'll be 4/10. HA. I know. It's okay. I don't really like Twilight anymore. I was a kid, okay? And when I started growing up, I realized it sucks.

On Monday, we had this "photo shoot" for, according to Teacher Koh, the school magazine. And I was freaking ugly! My hair was tied up. D: Why couldn't they tell us before the actual photo shoots? Grrr.

Today, which is Tuesday, was 50-50. And not because of Chezkek okay? I'm not a drama queen.

I mean, I had fun today. Because of P.E. We had to this ugly dance and we ended up creating ugly steps which Katrina calls, "Ballet for Dummies." It was fun. And Chris and Cheen and the others were just dancing like maniacs. Then I followed Tina in Glee's 'I Kissed A Girl' dance move where she kind of like 'chopped' her legs. (LOL, I don't know how to describe that one). So here's the video I found on YouTube:

See? Get it? Yep, I did that and we were laughing our asses off. :P

Though we had assembly today and I was scolded by Teacher Saadah because I was wearing my Chucks. They absolutely don't know what 'awesome shoes' are. Seriously. Even Katrina got scolded.

Screw school for discriminating awesome shoes and not awesome shoes.

So nowadays, and I don't know why, I've been singing 'Misguided Ghosts' by Paramore and it's been playing on my mind. It's kind of really awesome.

I'm just a misguided ghost.

AND, I'm loving the song 'Before The Storm' by Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas. (OK, I don't know who's the one featuring so I just put 'and'). :D

flooded with all this pain.

2010-07-02T14:47:00.012+08:00

Hi, hello, hey.
I don't think I need to tell you why I have not been blogging but I will still tell you in case you don't really know. You're a sucker if you read this. I'm lazy to the max. I'm online everyday but I'm so lazy to blog. You see, I don't really have a life. Except if you call home, school, computer, home, school, computer a life, that is. :)

Oh well. Exams are finished. (I just want this blog to be mentioning things that are supposed to be mentioned months ago) And, my marks are really low. I don't want to go into further more information because my mother might read this out of accidental moments. Once, she opened my twitter page accidentally and she saw my tweets about my dad. She was mad, okay? But that's not the point. The point is, she accidentally opened my twitter because she 'accidentally' clicked Google Chrome and Google Chrome has that 'thumbnail view' right? So basically, she wasn't stalking or trying to check my pages, she really 'accidentally' viewed my page. And I'm afraid she might 'accidentally' view this blog too. Though I'm 90% sure she won't, because she's always busy in work. But there's still the 10% chance. I'm gonna try to keep her away from this laptop.

BUT YOU KNOW, I shouldn't just say this non sense stuff if I don't really want her to see this blog right and actually read it, right? (BIG GRIN)

It's July! ZOMG! I don't know why there's 'Z' there.. it's the twitter people's fault. Going back to my exaggeration... IT'S JULY! I'm 14 years and 6 months old! Okay, that was unnecessary. I'm just saying though. It's already half the year. And so far, I think it went good. You know, minor things happened. Nothing really big. Maybe for some people out there, yes. But for me.. it's just normal.

PDS students are actually bad, you know. And for the record, yes, I go to PDS too. I observe that they are bad. So that includes me too. No, wait. Actually, other schools out there are worst. Seriously. But anyway, I don't want to talk about school. I'm tired of school. And you're probably thinking right now, 'this girl is crazy, wasting education,' or probably worst than that. I'm not wasting education, okay? You're so lame. Really. If you think that. It has become boring after the holidays. You see, no new pictures. How boring is my life, tell me. TELL MEEEEEE. -.-

Friends in school are just the people coloring my days. Without them, I think... I'll still live. (HA! You think I'mma say, 'I'd die' right?) Ho yeah, I'm crazy.
Chezkek has gotten more handsome. He's tan now. Too much football, I guess. So, um, I really like his hair. O:)
OH YEAH. Tuesday was EPIC. Best day of the week. I could have fainted when he looked at me in the eyes. Yes. In the eyes! For more than two seconds. HAHA. I'm paranoid. Officially paranoid. Alalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!
Oh gosh, I miss Cap. He's gone for a few months and when he comes back, I'm going to Philippines for holidays. D: How am I suppose to see him, then? Crazy life.
(BIG GRIN)
And while Fish. Still no changes. Still the same. But there's still hope. As long as Fish doesn't have anyone yet, THERE'S HOPE! :D (THE REAL GRIN NOW)

So my thoughts are yours. Because that's what I'm thinking now. HEHE. And I wanna say, I miss my friend, Nina. :')

There's she. I really miss her. As in really. We were so close in year 8. I went sleep overs in their house and it was really fun. Her siblings are great and her parents are the most good people you'll ever meet. Just thinking about the old times last year is making me wanna cry. But not really. I just miss it. All of it. I think she's still in STPRI. She never updates her Facebook so I don't know what's happening to her. I know there's this thing called phones, but I don't wanna text her. Feels weird.

ANYWAY. You guys should really have TUMBLR! I strongly recommend you to have one.
CLICK ---> http://www.iwillmakeeverysecondcount.tumblr.com
YEZ. My tumblr. ;) Tumblr has really got amazing things on it. Though it kinda focuses more on life, photography and stuff that really inspire you. Actually, everything about what you're feeling.
Like.. this!
HEHEHEHEHEHE.
Burn, Dan, burn. LMAO!
Speaking of LMAO:
(Oh, if you can't read clearly. Just click 'em!)

O:) Have you watched the Harry Potter trailer?! WATCH IT NOW! I can't wait for the movie!

If you've read this far. WOW. You also don't have a life! AWESOME.

how can you be so perfect?

2010-06-18T16:10:00.012+08:00

Oh my, it's almost two weeks since I've last blogged! But you know, I'm a useless blogger. Because bloggers are supposed to be like making money or something like that and I'm blogging telling the things I've been doing. But whatever right, I mean, it's free. No one can stop me. (evil laugh)

So um, I kinda forgot what has happened to me for the week but the highlight is the Charity Gala Night at Empire last Saturday.

It was for Pusat Ehsan. The concert was really awesome. Thank God that it was successful.

Gette, me and Ivan.

Jeunneze, Gette and me! :)

I look weird, don't I? :p I'm still waiting for the other photos. Because I forgot to bring my own camera so yeah. :S I wish they upload soon, like real soon. I hate myself for forgetting my camera. :|
So currently, Gette is in KL for concert. And I've been sleeping over at Jeunneze's house for days already. From June 11 to June 13 then went home then the next, I watched Karate Kid with my aunt. Won't kid you man, it was awesome! Putting it in my favourite movie list. :D

It's definitely a MUST watch movie. Seriously.
So yeah after watching in cinema, went to prayer meeting in AFC but we were a bit late but it was okay, I guess. Then went home to get my things because I was going to sleep over at Juen's place again. We had choir practice for this Sunday, Father's Day. It was okay, I guess. Though I don't really have a nice voice but so some of them anyway.

Every night in Jeunneze's place, we slept at 5am. And the last night, we slept at 8am. :P

This is just a something something. But now, he's in a relationship. :)
If you're happy then I'm happy.

arnamonica

arna monica says: *i kind of hate him in some ways cmariees says: *yeah *bottom line.. U laf him | O.O @cmariees9:34 PM Jun 2nd via webRetweeted by 1 person

Delete

I must really get the pictures ASAP.
So, my aunt is going back home to Philippines and I'm gonna be alone in my room.
I've got a long list to do and so far I have not done anything yet.

While in Jeunneze's place, I watched Glee. And I'm hooked. I love Kurt. :) He's the best.
And whenever I see Lady Gaga or hear her songs, it reminds me of Glee's version of Bad Romance. It was super awesome. Samantha was really effing good. Though she's not there because she's not in the main cast. But hopefully she'll be in because she's really good. She's just a plot device for other people's story lines.
Good thing Lea/Rachel is wearing high heels in there 'cause if not, she'd be super short. Especially standing next to Finn.

They're awesome.

And oh yeah, Puck is 27 years old. Too bad.

take me deeper, higher & further.

2010-06-06T21:49:00.006+08:00

I realized I'm so far from God now. It's not God who's leaving me, I'M leaving him. He's never left me, after all. I've been really through hard times again and I felt like God was not there when it was actually me who's not really seeking for Him.

It's hard being a Christian, honestly. But I won't give up. I know He's gonna be there always, for me. When I fall, He's gonna pick me up again. I know that it's just the enemy who's doing all this trouble and I won't let the enemy defeat me. My God is bigger than my problem.

So um, yeah, today has been great. No bad moments which I'm really thankful to God about that. Church today was really great. I'm thankful for leaders and the worship team. They're really doing an awesome job. I really love that church. Not because of the people but because I can really feel God there. As in really. :3

Oh yeah, Manny uploaded the picture already. (The one where I went to Gadong)

Manny & Me!

This is the 'slutty' pose. Which was kind of fail, right? HAHA.
Chelle is really good at it. :P

So yeah, I guess that's just it. HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Mine isn't happy. It's boringggggg!

it was a fairytale in reality.

2010-06-05T10:54:00.002+08:00

It had been a great Saturday and I loved every moment of it.
I went to the mall with Karen and Chelle. I wanted to watch cinema but they didn't want to. They've already watched Prince of Persia and they didn't want to watch Shrek 4 so yeah. We basically ended up walking around and fooling around. We ate and drink and ate and drink. Yeah, we're like pigs.

Er, I don't know what's Karen doing here.

I can't believe people still overdress in mall. What is up with the mall? I mean, it's just a mall. Not a circus. I saw one super skinny girl wearing short skirt and long sleeves and she was wearing this about 5 inch heels which didn't really fit her. And another one, where she was wearing all purple and super high heels. :\ I'd rather want them to go to the circus, you know. No one would stop them there. Seriously. So yeah, if you want to come to a place where people are poklens and overdress so much, the mall here in Brunei is the right place for you. Seriously.
Saw lots of friends. First time, ever. Guess because it's holidays and it was Saturday. Really weird though. The people I didn't expect to come, came. O.O

Then I went home and went Skype-ing with my family in Philippines and my aunt in Paris. Was really awesome. So many laughter.
Yeah, ignore the white spots on my face. I've been having lots of pimples now. :| HEHE.
That's France, Brunei and Philippines. Thank God for internets and Yahoo Messengers and Skypes.

Oh, okay, um, yeah. They're not in order. But you do get it right?
The sunglasses were funny. They were singing "I've got a feeling" and it was really funny. So I kind of took my broken shades and put them on and we laughed our asses off.
That's my brothers and my cousin. They're doing that to get my aunt to buy them pizza or rather order. So yeah, at the end my aunt was like, 'Go order pizza,' kind of unfair for us.
It was an awesome night. I miss them. (I'M GOING BACK TO PHILIPPINES THIS SEPTEMBER!) I'm super excited. I want to go back, NOW. I can't wait for September. I can't wait. Three months to go~ After that the pizza arrived and there it is.

OH. Ignore the little blue box there at the corner. HEHEHEHE. So yeah, that's the pizza. They ordered pizza at 12:45 midnight! I wish we can do that in Brunei.
We got jealous and my cousin decided we go out for some snacks. It was like really late and my parents were asleep. We sneaked out. I'm a bad girl.
We were like opening the gate very very very quietly and our hearts were hammering to our chest like crazy! But we got out. Rode the car and went to Bandar! It was just 5 minutes from our house anyway. We went to Gadong first to see if McDonald's was still open but when we arrived, they were just closing. -.- So we just ate in De Royalle Cafe in Bandar. I had mocha. It tastes so different from Starbucks or Coffee Bean and it's in a bad way. Seriously. We were hungry so we kind of like didn't care. And oh yeah, there was crazy lesbians there too! They kept looking at us! And then the lesbos left and a waitress came to me holding out a tissue and I thought, 'I didn't ask for a tissue...' and then the waitress said, 'the people just now (lesbos) wanted me to give you this' and yeah, when I opened the tissue, it said something like, "Hey, you look really gorgeous (blah blah blah) and here's my number . . . love nadz (something something)" Omg, we laughed our asses off. And those lesbos were really freaky. I had enough of lesbians, OK? Two years in STPRI are enough. And I'm 14 and they're like 20? HAHAHA.
I'll scan the tissue later if I still have it in my cousin's bag. And my cousins were like, "You're just wearing sleeping clothes, what more if other clothes.." And we were just laughing. We arrived home at almost 3 midnight.

So yeah. It was fun for me. :D That's all.

i swear i'll make every second count.

2010-06-03T13:17:00.005+08:00

I went to school today. The main purpose of going to school, well, I didn't do it. I was supposed to pass the form for MOE but yeah. I decided since it's incomplete, I just won't pass it. So I didn't and when I get back to school, I'm dead.

Instead, we went to Gadong using the purple limousine. Purple limousine is the bus, just for your information. We went to TFF and played Rock Band. It was fun! I played the drums. And sang, which was totally funny, we couldn't stop laughing. My voice could really bring in storm here in Brunei. Seriously. But it was really really fun. Took photos too, but not in my camera. I forgot to bring mine. It's with Manny, I hope he uploads it soon. Like really soon, babe.
After that, we're supposed to go back to school at 11 but then they were hungry. Rafael actually planned to eat in Excapade but then ended up being in McDonald's. He paid for everything which was a good thing because I forgot to bring my wallet too.
While waiting for our orders, we went upstairs and we played the 'Playland' thing. It was really funny. There's metals there, right, so we were like, acting sluts again. Like crazy people, behind bars. We were like, 'I'm k-k-k-inda busy.. stop telephonin' me~' It was really funny. Took photos, posing like the people in the Telephone music video by Lady GaGa.
And Manny was like, "We should make a music video here in McDonald's," then he went sliding down while singing Telephone and then he rolled, still singing! It was hilarious!
So yeah, after eating, it was 11.30 already and I was like panicking because we have to wait for the limo and my mom texted me that she's in school already. My mom didn't know that I went to Gadong. So yeah, pretty normal teenage reaction, yes? I mean, what if she checked the whole school and found out that I went somewhere she didn't know and she'd tell my dad and I'd be super dead? It was actually my first time doing those stuff so yeah. Cheen was like, "Oi, don't panic!" HAHA. Then after 15 minutes of waiting and waiting the limo finally arrived. Thanked God a million times that time. When we arrived school, I saw my mom talking to someone and I was glad.
I wandered around first to see if Chezkek was still there, but he wasn't there anymore. He probably went home or was in Mamih. Oh well, at least he looked at me just now. :D :D :D :D I was super happy just now. I think he knows though.. that I like him. Oh whatever, I don't care anymore. Guys have the rights to know, right? Or.. never mind.

When I arrived home, I ate lunch and dad was lecturing me about school stuff again. All I remember him saying was, "If you don't give me good marks, I'll smash that laptop on your head," and mom was like, "Not the laptop, the books lah. The laptop is expensive," and dad, "I don't care." -.- I nodded my head like yeah~ HAHA.
I mean, whatever. If he hurt me again like really really bad, I'm so going to report him to the embassy. Now, I DON'T CARE.
I have an excuse! And I'm not making that excuse up. Hello! I haven't been to school for at least 2 months and I've like studied 2 topics only. I mean, what the hell do I get from that and out of nowhere, it's exams already. I can't just give them 80% marks and above. I don't even understand anything. As much as I want to understand, especially, Maths, I can't. I just can't.

OH WELLS. I'm getting my face ready after this holidays for my dad's countless slaps.
And I'd cry until I fall asleep. Could life get any worst? Don't even answer that.

So yeah, I'm missing STPRI and I don't know why. And I know it's like the lesbian school. But whatever. I miss my best friends.

Arna Monica > Dk Munirah Sam:
MUNIRAH! ♥ dammit, i miss you! i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
I MISS YOU!
i could type i miss you forever and it still won't show how much I REALLY MISS YOU.
omg. i could cry right now. :') and it's gonna be tears of missing. (apakan, haha)
i miss you both, you and ZuraChan Hhs SO MUCH!
i just wanna hug you guys right now! HUGS so tightly, i think my boobs are flat now!
:D :D :D :D
take careeeee?! okay? for me?! don't fall, or trip, or do something silly that will hurt you, KEH? mwah! i love you! ♥

Dk Munirah Sam > Arna Monica:
hey, arna i miss you too....its not the same anymore...you know you could come to stpri tomorrow if you want...your choice (if you do we're wearing P.E attire).
hope I'll see you sometimes if i can....(which is always never!)ha ha

ill say i miss you like i'm gonna bloody die the next day for as many time as long as i can bloody say it but i'll always never be enough.

me and zura always try to remember you a lot. seriously its just me who always mention you (no offense zura) :P

we'll always miss you and always bloody going to.cross my heart.
P.S:my favorite book is all the HARRY POTTER series. (just saying) :)
<3I think she's awesome. I might hate her sometimes but I guess that's friendship.
There was one time where we were told to tell who our best friend is and I said no one. Munirah got really pissed. She was like, 'Fine, be that way. I thought you're my best friend.'
But yeah, I don't know what had gotten into me when I really know she's my best friend. And it was not because I was ashamed or anything, I just don't know why. I was really stupid.
Now, we're not in the same school but we know we'll stay in our hearts forever.
I have no idea where is there pictures. They're just not vain, you know.

Oh well, this was in Hari Raya last year. This is Zaimah and me. And that is the school compound and you could see the broken windows in the super hot classes.

Do I look weird in tudong? Mostly, people thinks I'm a Malay. I get that a lot.

Yeah. That's us. Though Mun and Zura aren't there. I don't know where they were that time. :S
What a long post. :P I'm proud.

how much more do you want?

2010-06-02T14:02:00.006+08:00

Slaps. Slaps. Slaps.
Wow. Isn't the feeling great? Just awesome? It's like you're in a bliss?
Screw, you. Heard of sarcasm lately? Yeah, whatever.

ANYWAY. Exams are finished! I am free!
FREEDOM RULES.

I've been here in front of the computer screen since 2 in the afternoon. Nah, I'm just kidding. I slept at 6 and then woke up at 9. Like tonight. So yeah, I'm blogging for the sake of saying it's holidays already though I know you guys know that. But yeah, whatever.

Just a short post. Nothing really happened so yeah.
I'm saying 'yeah' like yeah. I know, this isn't making any sense. So, bye!

say that you love me too.

2010-05-30T18:22:00.008+08:00

It's crazy how much I think about you.

I thought about you before going to sleep last night and
you're my first thought when I woke up this morning.
I don't want to get attached to you too much. It might just disappoint me, like before. I don't want to get my hopes up because you haven't really said anything.
I don't expect anything from you and I don't want to.
Maybe, just maybe, I'm wrong. Maybe I need to learn that sometimes, it isn't love. It's just a feeling. A sudden feeling and I'm kind of over-reacting.

We'll be okay. Yeah, that's what you always say. I'm scared, now.

This is getting boring.. LET'S TALK ABOUT RANDOM!

Do you like Chuck Bass/Ed Westwick from Gossip Girl?

Of course, you do! I mean, who doesn't? Except for guys, of course. :P His lips, OMG, his lips!
*Dies thinking about it.*
It's so hot when he kisses Blair. Dammit. I wish I was Blair. HAHA. OK. I should shut up.

Agape had Telematch today! And I didn't come. It's my parent's fault. They said it's too early. But come on! It's sports! SPORTS! It's freaking sports. OK. You get what I mean right? It's sports. I must be in RBRC at 7 in the morning today. Too early right? Silly me. I agreed in the end anyway. But it would have been fun! ...
Okay, so, I heard that Acts 29 lost! And I'm in that team. -.- Why did they lost anyway? They're supposed to win. They're much stronger than the other teams. The other teams are sort of.. older. So yeah. And last year, they lost too. -.-' Maybe the other team cheated. LOL. Kidding.

I went to Mom's church instead. After that, I had manicure and pedicure! Super made my day, super happy. Then my aunt got facial. She said it hurt like crazy. She got lots of pimples. :S I don't like talking about pimples even when I have too, it's just weird and I don't know why.
And then after that, I went home. Something happened bad but I don't want to say it here.
My parents were scolding me but I found it funny. So it kind of like, went in to my right ear and went out from my left ear. I should do that often. My dad say things that really hurt me so I should really do that! And besides, I'm sort of used to it. You know, my dad getting mad at me for no reason. It's always like that.

But I'm strong. I'm always strong. And I will be strong. (apakaaaaaaaaaaan)

Tomorrow is holiday! It's the military something something. Anniversary? Eh, I don't know.
Oh yeah! My adviser is so weird! As in, super weird!

I have nothing else to blog. Oh shiz! I forgot to save our (Christina and me) convo! It was super funny! DAMMIT. One thing I hate about MSN, they don't have 'history' thing like in Yahoo Messenger. GRRR! I just hope Christina saves it! Please, God! I really love that conversation! And I was supposed to put it here but now, it's gone. *sigh* Oh wells. There's more to come, I think.

You know that saying like, "I don't want to be so happy because after that, something bad happens." Or something like that. I think it's true, you know. It just happened today.
Why does it have to happen?

This is really boring, isn't it? Thanks for wasting your time reading this nonsense words.

O.O How I wish I could just say that.

Oh baby, sweep me off my feet again.
Good night! ♥

arna monica

here we go again.

SO, BYE!

you've proven it.

you know i'll miss you right?

nothing gold can stay.

there's so much love in you.

i don't want to regret in the end.

you can take away the pain.

this is it.

this is me, only God can change me.

just suddenly...

like the rising sun that shines.

hello, october.

ainakoainakoainako.

naturally sweet; no sugar added.

we'll be forever young.

Dearly loved.

i'm myself, me only. no one else.

everything matters.

it begins and ends with you.

it's happening all over again.

i just want to be more like you.

just a heads up, girl, just a heads up.

don't judge a book by its cover.

i'm going to miss you so much, love.

stop ignoring, hear me out.

wake me up inside.

you should know, tomorrow never knows.

will you save me?

i will wait, i will always wait.

your smile is worth a billion dollars.

there's so much more about you.

remember the promise, He said.

better hugs than drugs!

Typical, typical, typical yet amazing.

Forget the fear, love.

don't fret, just smile.

through You, i can do anything.

yes, You've won my heart.

i'm officially missing you.

This is my life, I give You all.

all i wanted was you.

standing here but you don't see me.

flooded with all this pain.

how can you be so perfect?

take me deeper, higher & further.

it was a fairytale in reality.

i swear i'll make every second count.

Dk Munirah Sam > Arna Monica: hey, arna i miss you too....its not the same anymore...you know you could come to stpri tomorrow if you want...your choice (if you do we're wearing P.E attire).hope I'll see you sometimes if i can....(which is always never!)ha ha

how much more do you want?

say that you love me too.

Dk Munirah Sam > Arna Monica:
hey, arna i miss you too....its not the same anymore...you know you could come to stpri tomorrow if you want...your choice (if you do we're wearing P.E attire).
hope I'll see you sometimes if i can....(which is always never!)ha ha